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More articles for Singles


Chasing the Ring

By Alegra Hassan
CBN Staff Writer

CBN.comShiny baubles, round, square, princess cut; all dazzling to the eye when the light hits them just right.  A small stone carved from the earth is the envy of every single girl.  In my quest for the man God designed for me these tokens of affection begin to have a hypnotic effect and I am besieged with thoughts of cut, clarity, color and carat.

Rejection and Teamwork

In my quiet times alone with the Lord, He reveals the hidden secrets of my heart. Yes, at age 35 your possibilities dwindle as one by one your friends are married off to wonderful and not so wonderful men.  After the seventeenth bridal shower, you begin to consider the pattern of your life which never seems to make it over the threshold.  As another lovely relationship experiences strain, my inner man is revealed and I lash out with unforgiving questions, “What’s wrong with me?” and my personal favorite, “Am I cursed?”  Your true friends and devoted mother reassure you (once again) that it is not you but him; yet it does not dull the pain of rejection. 

I liken marriage to God’s perfect partnership with two people achieving the perfect synergy to work as a team.  In those lonely nights armed with my pillow, fuzzy slippers, and mud mask I often pour out my heart in what can only be described as a tirade to God.  During this time, assuming the Father is listening, I begin to list all of the reasons I need a husband and end the rant/prayer with Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.

Hoping this will have a holy affect I shout at the heavens “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

And as the days go by without a shiny wonder on my left hand I begin to feel like the last kid on the ball field hoping and praying that someone will pick me for the ‘M’ team.  It is here in the land of loneliness and rejection where raw truth brings healing.  It is here that the Holy Spirit illuminates the Word to remind me that I am already chosen by God and accepted by Him.

Ephesians 1 brings such comfort as the Father reminds me that “He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world.” He goes on to describe our oneness with Christ Jesus as an act of adoption for His good pleasure, and I am accepted in the Beloved. These words are a balm to a wounded heart and a salve to my soul.  Someone has chosen me with all of my quirks for the ‘J’ team.


Now that I have received my new position as the accepted one, I realize that the magnetic appeal of the ring is also motivated by the green eyed monster of jealousy.  The problem with Jealousy is that it always attracts its partner in crime, Covetousness.   This dynamic duo can deal a decisive blow to a girl’s self esteem.  Repentance is the key to ending this cycle as I read over the 10 Commandments also known as the “shalt nots.” Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.  A ring would surely fall under the "anything" category.

I return to the Father with a humble heart and a bowed head, asking Him to forgive me for lusting after the team ring, and I put my trust in Him solely.  Psalms 119:35-37 says it best, “Make me to go in the path of thy commandments; for therein do I delight. Incline my heart unto thy testimonies, and not to covetousness. Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken thou me in thy way.”

So today I stand refreshed in the Lord, knowing I am secure in Him.  I proudly don my TEAM ‘J’ baseball cap as I walk through the fields of life.  Now I know that the captain of my team has chosen well.  And one day when that special, sparkly stone is laid upon my finger I will receive it with a whole and grateful heart.


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