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Does God Really Want You Single?

Preventing a Broken Heart: Is It Possible?

I Kissed a Lot of Frogs: But the Prince Hasn't Come

Does God Really Give Us the Desires of Our Hearts?

By Kathleen Hardaway
Author and Precept Ministries Staffer

CBN.comDoes God truly give you the desires of your heart? As a single have you ever asked the question, "If God gives me the desires of my heart, why am I still single?" Of all the questions I've been asked, this is probably the number one question. To understand this Scripture fully, it's important to put it in context.

"Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him…" (Psalm 37:5-7a, NIV).

Today, if you're struggling in your singleness, don't lose heart. These verses are key in helping you with your frustration of being single. Is your delight, your joy, in the Lord? This is vital for anyone to have true joy.

The first twenty years of my life I put much of my joy in my boyfriends. My mood swings went from high to low depending on how a relationship was going. I later realized my joy was in a man, not in my relationship with the Lord.

Our delight must be first in the Lord. It must be priority in our lives.

Second, are you "trusting in Him and doing good?" Countless singles are doing their own thing, not trusting in Him, much less doing good. Many are dating unbelievers and choosing an impure lifestyle.

God says, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God" (Matthew 5:8). If you want a blessed life then it must be a pure life.

Later in these verses David writes, "Commit your way to the Lord and trust in Him." Continue to tell the Lord you want His way, not your way. Never ever try to make a relationship happen. Far too many singles are doing this only to end up heartbroken.

We are also commanded to be still and to wait on Him. Waiting is a difficult thing to do. At times it gets long and it may seem too hard. Often singles cannot endure the waiting and they rush into a wrong marriage. Wait. Keep waiting. Don't rush.

My friend, if you are truly delighting in Him, trusting in Him, committing your way to Him, and waiting on Him, yes, He will give you the desires of your heart. Scripture tells us He will. But God's timing may not be your timing.

Have you come to the end of yourself and truly asked the Lord to change your desires if they're not His desires? I have done this in my own life. Today I'm still single, but never thought I could be happy if I was not married. My desires have changed. If the Lord brings me a husband, then I feel quite sure my desires will change again.

The key to the Christian life, single or married, is trusting and obeying. How very, very true the famous hymn writer was when he penned the words "Trust and obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey" (John H. Sammis).

I'm not saying it's easy. I'm not saying there will not be times of loneliness. I'm not saying that you don't ever wonder why you're still single. But I am saying you will never ever be sorry for trusting, obeying, and waiting on the Lord.

Does God give you the desires of your heart? Yes, and even more. It may be different plans or desires than you ever thought you wanted. He has extraordinary plans when you simply put Him first in your life.

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen" (Ephesians 3:20-21, NASB).

Kathleen Hardaway is on staff at Precept Ministries International and has produced and directed Kay Arthur's TV show How Can I Live? for more than 17 years. A single herself, Hardaway is transparent and humorous in her first book, I Kissed a Lot of Frogs: But the Prince Hasn't Come (Moody, 2002).

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